


i watched it begin again

by wafflesofdoom



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Family Fluff, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, New Beginnings, single parent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 05:37:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11640015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflesofdoom/pseuds/wafflesofdoom
Summary: robert and aaron find their way back to each other at seven am on a cold february morning.





	i watched it begin again

**Author's Note:**

> originally prompted on tumblr!

Routine was key, Robert had discovered. He’d never been much of a one for it, always enjoyed a bit of spontaneity, but with a baby on his hip, Callum a full time job before he even thought about Home James, routine was key.

If only  _Callum_  knew that.

It was five to seven in the morning, and Robert was standing outside David’s, desperately waiting for the shop to open. He was still getting used to living alone, after months spent with Diane, and he’d ran out of milk.

What kind of dad did that make him, eh? He’d ran out of formula for Callum, his son up at six thirty on the dot, gurgling and fussy, clearly hungry. Robert had bundled him into a a fluffy coat, ridiculous hat (complete with knitted dog ears, a present from Diane) stuck on his head, blond curls hidden from view.

Callum made an unhappy sound, Robert hushing his son, lips pressed to the top of Callum’s head. He’d discovered early on that Callum quite liked the ridiculous baby carrier Victoria had bought him, the one that he had to wear strapped across his chest, Callum cradled to his heart.

It was hardly comfortable, but when Callum scratched at his shirt collar with his tiny fingers, it kind of made Robert’s heart skip a beat. He’d never thought he’d take to being a dad, if he was honest, but it made Robert feel  _needed_ ,  _important_ , when he had Callum in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” Robert stroked a thumb across Callum’s cheek, hoping to settle him down. “Five more minutes, and I’ll get you home for your breakfast, promise.”

As if on cue, David unlocked the door, Robert breathing a sigh of relief. “Thank god,” he said by way of greeting, bustling into the shop after a tired looking David. “I’ve run out of his milk.”

“The first few months are the hardest mate,” David said, sympathetic as anything.

He’d been getting a lot of that, lately.

( _No one was more surprised than Robert._ )

The way Callum had come into the world, the way it had all gone down in the end - well, it had hardly been the stuff of parenting books, and Robert dreaded the day he’d have to explain where the rest of his family was gone, Callum too young to notice he was down a parent.

The sympathy could be for the fact he had Robert Sugden as a dad too, Robert considered, staring at the meagre selection of baby food David stocked. He’d feel sorry for anyone who only had him to depend on, if he was on the outside looking in.

Grabbing the most familiar looking formula, Robert paused to get a loaf of bread and a bottle of milk, the empty fridge back at his cottage the worst way to wake up on a Tuesday morning.

“Anything else?” David inquired, ringing up his purchases.

Robert shook his head. “I just need to get this one home and fed,” he said, stifling a yawn. He’d gotten Callum off to sleep on the right side of midnight, and then he’d stayed up until two am working, trying to get on top of all the paperwork for Home James he had let slip.

Nicola and Jimmy could only be so forgiving for so long.

Handing his card over to David, Robert hoisted his shopping back onto one shoulder, heading for the door. Callum was restless again, grumpy and hungry, and Robert had been his dad long enough to know he was about ten seconds from -

Callum’s hysterical scream ripped through the quiet village, Robert’s heart sinking.

“Come on, come on,” Robert said, thumb stroking his cheek again. “We’re nearly home, eh? I just need you to hold on a few more minutes, and I’ll get you fed. I promised, didn’t I? I don’t break my promises to you.”

Robert’s ramblings were wasted, Callum properly crying now, face screwed up and his tiny hands in fists, determined to put his lungs to the test, despite the early hour. The only thing that would calm him down is if Robert got him out of the sling, but he had a bag of shopping and one set of hands.

 _Disaster_. It was seven am, and the day was already a disaster.

“I’m sorry I’m so useless,” Robert said quietly, carefully unbuckling Callum from the sling, cradling him close to his chest, trying to soothe his crying baby. He was nearly three months old, but Robert swore he had the lungs of a toddler.

As he tried to stoop down and pick up the shopping bag he had dropped in his haste to get Callum out of the sling, Callum’s cries only got worse.

“Come on, buddy,” Robert pleaded, rocking him slightly. “We’re nearly home.”

“Do you need a hand?”

Robert looked up from Callum, shocked to hear Aaron’s voice. Despite the size of the village, they’d gotten good at avoiding each other, spending no more time than strictly necessary around each other, keeping to civil nods and hellos. “I - uh, yeah,” he admitted, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to get Callum, and the shopping home without Callum screaming the village down.

“You’re living in Jacobs Fold, right?” Aaron asked, stooping to pick up the shopping back, giving Robert a sincere smile. He looked good, Robert noted, Aaron having had grown his hair  _and_  beard out over the winter, dark hair peaking out from underneath a thick knitted hat.

Robert nodded. “Yeah,” he confirmed, pausing to ssh Callum, doing his best to calm him down.

“He’s got a set of lungs on him,” Aaron said, clearly trying to make conversation.

“You have no idea,” Robert admitted, laughing slightly. “He likes using them best at one in the morning when I’m trying to sleep, don’t you?” he directed at Callum, rocking him slightly, still in awe of how one of his palms splayed the entirety of Callum’s back, how small, and fragile his son was.

Keeping a tight arm around Callum, Robert fumbled with his keys for a second before he managed to get the door open, stepping into the welcome warmth of the cottage. It didn’t feel quite like home yet, but he was getting there, he was carving a space of his own in the village for the first time, a home for him and Callum.

“You can leave it anywhere,” Robert said, reaching out to flick the kettle on, struggling to get out of the stupid harness while Callum was still nestled to his chest, his cries finally subsiding.

“Do you want me to take him?” Aaron asked.

Robert couldn’t help but pause, shocked. “What?” he said stupidly, mouth hanging open as he looked at his husband. Ex-husband, he supposed, despite the rings that still sat, pride of place on Robert’s bedside locker.

“Do you want me to hold him?” Aaron repeated. “So you can get that off.”

“I - yeah,” Robert tugged Callum’s hat off, the snow white curls his son sported an unruly mess. “Thanks.”

“It’s alright,” Aaron said, ever the natural as he cradled Callum to his chest, the baby fussing for a minute or so before he settled again, face pressed to the material of Aaron’s hoodie. “He looks like you,” he murmured, his tone full of wonder as he looked at Callum.

“He’s got her nose,” Robert said, on autopilot as he shrugged out of the harness, instantly freezing as he realised what he’d said. “Sorry, I didn’t think.”

“It’s okay,” Aaron’s focus was still on Callum, pulling silly faces at him. “Really, Robert. It’s okay. You hungry, little man?” he directed his words at Callum again. “I think your dad should probably stop fussing and make you a bottle.”

Robert reached for the new tub of baby formula, giving Aaron a grateful smile. “You look good,” he commented, the monotonous task of making a bottle familiar,  _easy,_ the kind of routine that had become his life over the past three months.

“I feel good,” Aaron admitted, rocking Callum slightly, taking to it far faster than Robert had, in the beginning. “I’ve been going to counselling, and I’m still doing boxing. It’s been good for my head.”

“That’s good,” Robert said, sincere. All he wanted was to see Aaron happy, and over the past nine months or so, he’d come to accept that he’d still want that, even if the happiness wasn’t with him.

“You look knackered,” Aaron laughed, focus back on him as Robert finished making the bottle, testing the temperature on his wrist.

“I am,” Robert laughed, setting the bottle down so he could scoop Callum out of Aaron’s arms, his son giving another unhappy gurgle. “I’ve got you, it’s okay,” he reassured, not surprised when Callum started to gulp his bottle down, clearly starving.

“You’re a good dad,” Aaron commented.

“You can tell that from one frenzied encounter in the village at seven in the morning?” Robert joked, unable to tear his gaze from Callum as he drank. He hadn’t had that cliche moment of falling in love the moment he’d seen him, but in those first few, fragile days of his life, Robert had fallen in love, had made it his life’s aim to pour every bit of love he had into this tiny, brand new person.

“You’re a good dad,” Aaron repeated, a smile on his face, despite the firmness of his voice. “Vic tells me things, you know. I’m not totally out of the loop.”

“Vic should learn to keep her mouth shut, shouldn’t she?” Robert said. “Yes she should, nosey aunt Vic.”

“She means well,” Aaron shrugged. “I wanted to know how you were doing, I haven’t seen much of you lately.”

Lately.

More like since August.

“I figured you’d want space,” Robert admitted, Callum content now he was chugging down a bottle. “It’s what you asked me for.”

“I know,” Aaron said. “And it’s done us both good, the space. But I’d like if we could be mates again.”

“Again?” Robert raised an eyebrow, trying to remember a time in their rollercoaster of a relationship where they’d really, truly just been mates.

“For the first time, then,” Aaron laughed, knowing they’d never been much good at the whole mates thing. That was the trouble with being in love, Robert supposed - being mates just never felt like enough.

But maybe this time, it was the best place to start.

“Mates,” Robert tried the word out for size, Callum draining the last of his bottle as Robert spoke, a little smile on Aaron’s face as Callum let out a tiny hiccup, an endearing sort of noise. “I’d really like that, actually.”

“Good,” Aaron said, shifting nervously, as though he didn’t know what to say now.

“You got time for a cup of tea before work?” Robert inquired, Callum leaning against his shoulder, Robert rubbing slow circles across his back.

“Tea sounds great.”

 

 

 

 

 

( _That was the first morning where Robert broke his routine, but it wasn’t the last. Somewhere along the way, they found a new routine, a better Aaron and Robert, a happier beginning, a forever after._ )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
